Be sure that you have a good password for all of your online stuff. Trust no one when it comes to that sort of thing.
I was recently talking on the phone to my bank about our online banking system, and I had to reset my password. After doing so, the guy from the bank said, “Wow… that’s really complicated.”
“Well, you know… you want to have a complicated password that’s really hard to hack.” I replied.
Then, the bank guy said, “Well… I never really thought of that before.”
The guy works in the data protection sector of a bank, for crying out loud!
It makes you wonder if my bank debates whether or not to lock the vault – or even the doors – when they leave the office at night.
And the bank guy isn’t alone. I often get email from friends – usually fellow comedians – that say something to the effect of, “I’m stuck in Poland and I need airfare to get home.”
I’ll often reply to “their” email: “Didn’t I just see you this morning at church? What are you doing in Poland? And why are you asking me to invest thousands of dollars in corn and soy beans? What’s this all about?”
This is what happens when your password is: “PASSWORD”.
Next, my dear friend Stacy Pederson joins the show. She’s got some tough stuff to get off her chest. Some things that she has kept hidden from the public too long.
Her metabolism is leaving her.
Now, Stacy knew that metabolisms often had a thing for younger women, but she never thought that it would happen to her. I mean, they’ve been together for so long, and Stacy thought they had a great relationship… she just never saw this coming. After all, they shared some crazy times – even back in college.
For example, there would be mornings when they would wake up and there would be empty pizza boxes and soda bottles scattered all over the place. They’d swear never to do anything like that ever again, but the next weekend, there they’d be hovering over a 6-foot sub, forgetting about the consequences of the pizza.
They had a rough patch after Stacy had her kids, but what relationship doesn’t go through that.
But, looking back, she can see more clearly where the problem areas probably started. Stacy has been more focused on her career than ever, spending more and more time on the road. She’d make promises to cut through the fat and tighten things up. But, then she’d get home and life would just take over.
Then there was this past summer…
Stacy realized just how much their problem areas had grown. Before she knew it, they had a MASSIVE BLOW OUT!
But, despite their best efforts, Stacy felt stretched beyond her capacity. She simply bit off more than she could chew. Needless to say, this has been a really heavy time for her.
Then it happened – Stacy woke up one morning and her metabolism was gone.
It’s time for Stacy simply to embrace her growth and come to terms with being a larger presence in this world. A larger, broader future lies ahead!
And finally, my buddy Ken Davis calls into the show. Ken recently deep fried a turkey for Thanksgiving… and it did not go well. Half-way through the deep-frying process, the flame went out, so he simply added another ten minutes to the cooking in order to compensate. It looked delicious. It smelled delicious. But, no one could chew it. On the bright side, everyone in Ken’s family lost weight.
Even the dog turned away from the half-breast Ken threw on the floor.
Now, Ken recently celebrated his 70th birthday with a huge bash and unfortunately I couldn’t be there. And I really missed out. There were so many great comics there to pay tribute to our buddy, Ken – Tim Hawkins, David Pendleton, Bob Smiley, John Branyan, Bob Stromberg, and so many more!
What was incredible was that this whole event came as a huge surprise to Ken! They actually pulled it off!! Despite the fact that Ken was included in a group email about the party.
But, at 70-years-old, Ken doesn’t have the time to sift through all his email. After reading the first line, he figured it didn’t apply to him, so he stopped reading and blew it off.
Ken’s only regret in life is that, after seeing all of the blessings that God has given him, he hasn’t been even more selfless in spreading God’s blessings to those he loves. Yet, when he sees God’s grace all throughout his life, it simply erases any regret Ken might feel.