“In the park we step on this bright shiny red merry-go-round. Everyone is happy and ready for a lot of love, fun and a great future.”
But then something happens. A pattern has emerged. There seems to be something very binding about your relationship. You feel like you are in prison and you can’t get out.
There has been a lot of confusion on what real love is. On the surface, codependency sounds like “Christian teaching.”
But true codependents aren’t really healthy, giving people. They learn to get their validity from other people rather than from Jesus! And they hinder those people they try to “fix” in their lives and their walk with God.
”Then Denial, Delusion, Justification, Rationalizations, Reverse Projection… emerge…these are all signs and symptoms of a co-dependent and addicted personality…”
Jesus taught the value of the individual.
“ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:31
The love of self forms the basis for loving others in the truest sense of the word.
The differences between a life of service to others and codependency take several forms. Motivation differs.
In their book, “Love is a Choice”, Drs. Hemfelt, Minirth & Meir” state:
“Codependency can be defined as an addiction to people, behaviors, or things. Codependency is the fallacy of trying to control interior feelings by controlling people, things, and events on the outside. To the codependent, control, or the lack of it, is central to every aspect of life. When it comes to people, the codependent has become so elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self— personal identity — is severely restricted, crowded out by that other person’s identity and problems.”
I see signs of codependency in many clients who come to me with relationship problems…they are worn out and exhausted and feel trapped in a relationship that makes them feel totally controlled.
There will always be another episode of control if someone doesn’t get off of the Merry Go Round and say “enough of this.”
When no one gets off, the Merry Go Round spins faster and faster until it is out of control. When the crisis is over then everyone is remorseful and say their sorry until the next ride. And it begins again.
You are aware that you do this but you have gotten away with it for so long that you have developed a false power. In the midst of your pain.
Have you asked God to bring this into the light so you can deal with it or help someone else?
You know as well as I that it is never easy to expose darkness.
But if you want freedom again, you have to get off the Merry-Go-Round once and for all.
So, from a believer’s standpoint here are some truths that might help you.
If you will take this issue to Jesus, you will find that:
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
(If this podcast has left you feeling like you need help with codependency tendencies in your life, you might want to consider Life Coaching! Contact me through my home page.)
e² media network™ provides weekly podcasts, media and other resources aimed at encouraging and edifying individuals in their relationships with others. Through strong Christian teaching about relationships between men and women, accountability amongst friends, parent / child relationships, co-workers, church communities and even perfect strangers, we aim to help build and mend interpersonal bridges.
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